Mother’s Day After Abortion: How to Find Healing, Hope, and Support

Mother’s Day After Abortion: How to Find Healing, Hope, and Support

Feeling overwhelmed this Mother's Day after abortion? You don’t have to carry this by yourself. 

For many women, Mother’s Day is a joyful celebration of love, family, and children. But for others, it can be a minefield of memories, a trigger for silent grief, or a day they simply wish would pass unnoticed.

If you've experienced abortion—recently or long ago—or if someone you love has, this day might land a little differently for you than what Hallmark or your social media feeds show. Mother's Day grief after abortion is real—and there’s help, healing, and support available when you're ready.

You might wonder: Do I even count? Am I allowed to feel this way? Does anyone else feel like this? 

The truth is, many women carry heavy stories too. And whatever you're feeling—it matters.

This blog is for anyone whose story with motherhood isn’t simple.

The woman who carries her story in silence

—and the woman who spoke it aloud but wasn’t fully heard.

The sister or friend who stood by quietly.

The grandmother who still remembers the due date.

And every woman in between.

If you’re here reading this, pull up a chair. Let’s talk woman to woman.

Mother’s Day After Abortion: Real Stories of Grief, Silent Struggles, and Hope

Mother's Day can stir up more than cards and flowers. It can stir up memories. Regrets. Questions that never seem to go away.

Here are just a few glimpses of what that might look like—through the eyes of women who have been there:

Jessica*: A Cloud Over My Head

My abortion was a few years ago, but it still feels like there’s a dark cloud hanging over me. Last Mother's Day was horrible without the baby who made me a mom. I feel regret every day, even though I still think it was the only decision I could make. Some days, I want to believe I’ll feel joy again. But mostly, I feel stuck. Like I can’t move on. Now it’s almost Mother’s Day again, and I feel like it’s pulling me under. I’m dreading it. My family expects me to show up happy for my mom and sisters’ special day, but I just want to crawl into bed until it’s over.


Tamika*: Nobody Knew I Grieved Too

My sister had an abortion when we were in our twenties. She was upset and depressed, and our family was a mess. I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t say anything. But part of me grieved. I would have been an aunt. I never told her how I felt until years later. It was a Saturday around the anniversary and just before Mother’s Day, so it was on my mind. And while we were doing yard work, I just blurted it out. She cried, I cried, and we sat on the porch in silence. She shared her struggles and pain that she’d kept to herself. That moment bonded us in a new way. Together we planted a bush that blooms beautifully each year. When we see it, it’s a way of saying, “You mattered to us.”


Linda*: Grieving the Grandchild I'll Never Know

My daughter had an abortion last year, and even though I try to stay strong for her and keep my feelings hidden, the grief sticks with me. I keep thinking about the grandchild I’ll never meet. I wonder who they might have been. This would have been her first Mother’s Day, and I'm a mess. Sadness, guilt, the what-ifs. I’ll celebrate with my other grandkids, but this year there will be a missing piece. And my heart is heavy. 

Grief doesn’t always show up the way we expect.

Sometimes it’s sharp. Sometimes it’s quiet.

Sometimes it hides until days like Mother's Day bring it roaring back.

You might be feeling waves of emotion you can’t quite explain.

And there’s a reason this day can hit harder than you expect.

What Makes Mother’s Day After Abortion So Difficult?

You might be doing fine most of the year.

Maybe you don’t think about the abortion(s) much anymore.

Or maybe it still lingers in the background, like a song you hear but can’t quite name.

Then Mother’s Day rolls around.

And suddenly you feel off. Emotional. Quiet. Overwhelmed. Maybe even angry.

Maybe you didn’t expect it, like this client: 

"I still believe abortion was the right choice for my situation, so I didn’t think Mother’s Day would affect me, but it did. It’s been several years, and it still surprises me that I get sad and depressed around Mother’s Day.”

Or maybe you did expect heavy emotions, as these women told us:

"It's Mother's Day, and I can't help but to feel guilt and regret. I'm so sad, I can't even hear about Mother's Day."

"My emotions come in waves. Sometimes it hits harder than others. Mother’s Day is so hard—I avoid the cards and aisles full of all the happy ‘Best Mom’ stuff."

You might feel:

A sense of absence, even if you don’t name it as grief

Guilt for making a choice you felt you had to make

Loneliness, especially if no one knows what you’re going through

A quiet kind of sadness that doesn’t always make sense

A heaviness that lingers, like one woman said: "I feel myself moving through the days, but since Mother’s Day, I've felt this heavy weight."

“Mother’s Day can be a particularly emotional time for those who have experienced loss,” says grief coach Charlene Lam. “It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to grieve in a way that feels right for you.”

While Lam’s article speaks mainly about mourning the loss of a mother, many of her insights apply to other kinds of grief that surface on Mother's Day too—including grief after abortion.

If you’re finding this Mother’s Day hard after abortion, these insights from Lam might help you get through the day:

Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up—anger, sadness, numbness, even resentment. It’s all part of grieving.

Release yourself from expectations—Mother’s Day doesn’t have to look or feel a certain way.

Acknowledge what is, instead of focusing on what “what ifs” or "should have beens”—honoring the reality of your experience helps reduce added pain.

Honor your unique story—your experience and journey with motherhood, however complicated, is worth acknowledging.

Be aware that others may grieve differently—and it’s okay if your process looks different from theirs.

There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to healing.


“Grieving is a highly individual experience,” HelpGuide points out, “There’s no right or wrong way to grieve.” There's no set timeline or perfect way to grieve.

It’s okay to feel conflicted.

It’s okay to feel fine.

It’s okay to feel nothing at all—or everything all at once.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or moving on like it never mattered.

It means letting yourself breathe again, even with the hopes and heartaches that still linger.

If this Mother’s Day feels heavier than you expected, plan ahead to meet it with care.

5 Ways to Care for Yourself This Mother’s Day After Abortion

Simple, Healing Ideas for a Tough Day

If you're not sure how to get through the day, here are a few gentle ideas:

1. Let Yourself Feel.

Whatever shows up in you—let it.

You don’t need to push it away or figure it all out.

Cry if you need to. Take a nap. Yell in your car. Or do nothing at all.

Sometimes the bravest thing is just feeling without judgment.

As Helpguide says, “Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It’s okay to be angry, to yell at the heavens, to cry or not to cry. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you’re ready."

2. Step Away from the Scroll.

Social media can be brutal on days like this.

The smiling brunch photos. The matching mother-daughter outfits.

If it feels like too much, log out. Protect your peace.

The people who love you can wait a day to see your latest post.

3. Create a Moment That Grounds You.

Light a candle, plant a flower, or sit quietly and breathe for a few minutes.

Focus on what you need most—strength, comfort, or simply space to feel.

Pray if you want to, write a few words, or simply hold space for yourself and your emotions today.

4. Talk to Someone Who Gets It.

Find someone who won’t rush you, judge you, or try to fix you.

That may be your partner, a friend, your therapist, or someone else you trust.

Our After Abortion Line is here for you. No pressure. No agenda. Just space and compassion.

5. Ask Yourself What You Need—and Listen

Helpguide also encourages you to “Plan ahead for grief ‘triggers’...Be prepared for an emotional wallop, and know that it’s completely normal.” 

You might need time alone—or with others.

Or laughter.

Or carbs.

Or a plan for what to say when your cousin or grandma asks when you're having kids—or why you’re skipping this year’s Mother’s Day gathering.

Trust that you know what helps you, and give yourself that gift.

For Friends and Loved Ones: How to Offer Support After Abortion

Maybe you’re reading this and thinking of someone else.

Someone who has experienced abortion.

Someone who might be hurting but isn’t saying much.

Looking for ways to be supportive?

We have some great resources that might help you.

Here are a couple general tips:

Don’t make assumptions. She might feel nothing. She might feel everything. Let her tell you.

Ask, then listen. A simple "Hey, how are you feeling this week?" can go a long way.

Don’t fix. You don’t have to solve it. Just stay close. That’s the win.

Reach out gently—if she knows you know about her abortion(s). A simple Thinking of you today can open a door without putting pressure on her. You might even send a card—Support After Abortion offers a selection of free, printable cards.

If you're in a church or small group, think about how you talk about Mother's Day.

Do you hold space for women who feel left out?

A line in a prayer or a small nod from the pulpit can speak volumes.

You might say something simple like:

"We celebrate with those who are celebrating, and we support those who are hurting." or

“Mother’s Day can bring up a lot of different feelings. We’re here for you, whether today feels joyful, complicated, or hard.”

Explore After Abortion Healing Resources

Maria*: Finding Freedom After Years of Silence

For years after my abortion, I couldn't let myself enjoy Mother's Day. I stayed anxious and kept a tight lid on my feelings. But after going through healing, I can finally celebrate being a mom—to all my children, including the one I never held. It's such a beautiful gift this healing journey has brought me—freedom.

Healing didn’t erase Maria’s past, but it gave her permission to breathe again, to honor the full story of her motherhood.

Healing after abortion looks different for everyone.

For some women, it starts with acknowledging that they’re hurting.

For others, it’s finding someone who will really listen.

Sometimes it’s picking up a resource, reading a page or two, and realizing—I’m not as alone as I thought.

However it starts, healing is possible.

And you deserve it.

Ready to take a small step—whether it's plunging ahead toward a healthier you or just starting to think about it?

Here are a few ways you can find support, hope, and encouragement after abortion:

Keys to Hope and Healing – A gentle place to begin if you're ready to explore your emotions and take the first steps toward healing after abortion.

Unraveled Roots – For when you want to look a little deeper at what might be underneath the pain—like abandonment, addiction, abuse, or codependency—and find new ways forward.

Both Keys to Hope and Healing and Unraveled Roots are available as printed or downloadable booklets, with videos and journals to guide you at your own pace.

Plus, our After Abortion Line team is here to listen, help you sort through what you’re feeling, and find the resource or support that feels right for you—whether that’s one-on-one, group, or something private and self-paced. It’s free, anonymous support from real people who will listen with compassion and without judgment. 

Connect with us:


Reach out whenever you're ready. Find what fits for you at Support After Abortion.

You Deserve Peace. You Deserve Support.

We know Mother’s Day after abortion can be challenging.

You don’t have to sugarcoat it.

You don’t have to put on a smile, grit your teeth, and push through it.

You get to be exactly where you are.

In the mess.

In the in-between.

In the healing.

And we’re here for you—wherever your here is.